Parenting for me is a little bit different for most people. So my husband and I have tried various parenting techniques to teach behavior we think is important for them. We’ve finally found one that we are in love with! So far so good. It’s a token system. Anything we want them to do we pay them tokens for. And anything they want to do they pay tokens. That’s the simple version!
Some examples are this, they get paid for these things (remember, we have different hopes and expecatations for our kids than you might, so our things will be different that what you might pick). Going to school (a big one, they can earn up to 10 tokens for a good day at school, Their teachers tell me if they had issues, didn’t participate, misbehaved, etc… Some days they don’t get any of those 10), going outside (they would sit inside all day if I let them), getting dressed, taking a shower, attempting to use the toilet (the younger two) and chores around the house. One of our successes has been with dinner. We used to get a lot of complaints at dinner, lot’s of grumbling, whining, complaining, etc… Now they get paid a token for trying a bit, another if they eat everything, another if they put their plate in the sink, and the BEST one? They get paid a token if they talk nicely at dinner. It’s worked wonders! They NEVER complain anymore, and even talk so politely! They’ve even tried things they might not have otherwise, and the plates are always put away! Then they pay us for stuff they want, sticking with dinner if they don’t like what we’re having they can pay tokens to eat leftovers, or have a sandwich. They also pay for (limited) computer time, a movie, or they can save up for big stuff. Like going bowling, to the movies, or an arcade etc… Right now they are saving up for a wii, each token can be traded for 10 cents. So they have to earn 2000 tokens for the wii. They have about 100 saved up, so it will take awhile, but they’ll get their. They have also saved up and boughten stuff like computer games, a craft item or (The Reader) books!
I decided I that I needed a token/chore chart (It also completes another goal). I was hoping it would help me with organization and paying the kids. Also People with Aspergers are VERY visual, so if the kids can SEE what they need to do, or CAN do to earn tokens they might be more likely to do more! I made the chore chart by taking a MDF board, sanding down the edges and taping it off, then painting the magnetic paint. (This is when the magnetic paint mess was created!)
It was my first time working with magnetic paint, and I can’t say it went really well. I couldn’t get a magnet to stick to save my life! I ended up with 5 thin layers and nada! I ended up ordering some VERY strong magnets and they worked, but barely! They slide really easily.
I wish I’d used metal (like a sheet of metal roofing or something). Then I painted the rest black. That’s the other thing I would have changed. I would have painted the whole thing with primer, then black BEFORE painting the magnetic paint (or adding the metal instead). It was a paint to prime and paint around the magnetic sections.
Then I added the scrapbooking paper to finish it off!
ANYWAY… We used to try to give them tokens every single time they earned one, but that wasn’t always practial. But by the end of the day we don’t always remember everything. I made glass tile picture magnets of ever single chore/task that was possible for them to earn tokens. There is a section for each of the 4 kids and one extra. I mod podg-ed some pretty scrap-booking paper over the 5 magnetic sections. They were too big for my printer so I had to hand write them. Which is always a bad thing for me (I have the WORST handwriting!). But it turned out okay.
They each have a spot on the board. Under their name is the stuff they each do every day. Things like eating dinner, putting their plate away, getting dressed, changing their underwear (yes, it get’s forgotten easily), taking a shower, brushing teeth, etc… They they each have somehthing different, like feeding george, or setting the table, etc… So when they do something they just move it over and whenever I get a chance I pay them tokens and move the magnets back over!
<
Then there is the EXTRA section. The chores that anyone can do to earn more tokens, but no one HAS to do. Empty the dishwasher, clean up Legos, clean up the trash, vacuum, read a book, finish a craft, laundry stuff, etc... I also have a lot of tiles for the school year, pack your lunch, hang up your backpack and coat, put away shoes, do homework, etc... Anyway, so far so good! It's going well so far. The token system has been in place since January and we're loving it. The tile and chore chart is new the past week or so. It's still not working perfectly, but it is going okay.
update, I'm doing Vlog's to answer some questions I've recieved about the token system and to give better information.
Part 1- Dinner
Part 2- Computer Games
Part 3- Talk Nicely
I link up to the parties listed here –>
Girl I luff you so.. That is such a great idea.. Only one prob.. I am lazy, unskillful and a dork.. How bout I pay you to make me one?! lol deal?
ps. love your cakes
Love to help out a fellow injured gal! Anytime!
I love this idea!! I am totally going to do the poker chip thing with my kids!
Thanks for the idea.
mommyoftwo247.blogspot.com
I’m glad you like it! they are great because they are so cheap, colorful and the kids like getting something of substance (rather than just a sticker) to collect! And it’s starting to teach them the value of “money” in a way and they save and spend it!
Very cute idea! So much better than the boring gold stars that taste yucky and pop off too.
FOR SURE!
So creative! Love the chart and loving your blog!
Thank you and thank you!
What a great idea!
visiting from transformation thursday
Thank you! We’ve been enjoying it. It’s so nice when you find something that works. And one that we can still personalize for each child and yet keep consistent!
Great idea!! I added a Spanx giveaway so come on over and enter!!
Thanks! I’m glad you liked the idea. I’m never sure if I’m linking up to the right day. I don’t want to annoy you by linking up in the wrong way! And that swimsuit choice looks great!
That's a great idea!! Fabulous job!! Visiting from Somewhat simple
justsewsassy.com
Thank you! It’s worked SO well for us. Although I’m always looking for ways to improve it and make it work better and better for us as parents and for the kids.
anytime! I even have an extra board…
Hi You’ve got a great blog and I think you’d be interested in mine. I’d love it if you’d link up to my Tot Tuesdays party- a linky party dedicated to all things toddler: http://www.mydeliciousambiguity.com/ Have a great day!
What a great party! you have some amazing stuff on there! I’ll definatly come back when I have a fun toddler craft! LOVE it and I’m going to visit the links and get inspired!
I love your idea of mixing the board with the token system. I have had similar ideas to use with the kids in the past but never really utilized them. But I think this would work great for my family. I especially love the idea of them paying to “do” things like getting something diff for supper. I have so many complaints about supper. Love, love, love this idea!!!
I hope it works as well for you as it did for me. It really did change things totally around. My 3 year old still doesn’t get the whole thing, but she does understand that GETTING tokens is cool so even she put’s her plate away, and loves collecting her tokens (although not enough to use the potty yet)
WOW, now that is a chore chart!! Great idea
Thanks! It turned out well, but I can see how I could have done it better and easier now. Oh well, it works!
What a beautiful chore chart! Thanks for helping us have another great Anything Related! ~Bridgette
Thanks! I’m glad you liked it! Thanks for throwing a great party
This is such a creative idea. And hey, it’s working! I think that board is such a great way to keep track. Plus, it’s cute. Nice job!
Thank you for linking this up as well!
Thanks! Oh, and happy anniversary, I loved your last two posts on the night before and the day of!
Wow! This is an awesome idea and so creative. What a good mom you are. <3 I love this.
Thanks! I do my best. It takes time to find that THING that works, but it’s so worth it when you do!
Very cool! We were trying a token system before with poker chips too but it fell to the side because the struggle to ‘pay up’. I just might have to make something like this! Thanks for linking up!
We did really well during the school year, but summer has hit us hard and we’re not doing as good.
That is such a great idea.
Thank you!
I love this! I will have to do something like this when my little one gets older.
It’s worked really well for us. I hope you find a way to make it work too!
LoL! As soon as I saw this creative & practical chore chart, I was thinking that this is a fantastic visual, especially for an ASD family….then I got to the bottom of the post and saw the LinkWithin link to the “Horror – My Worst Nightmare” post and realized that I wasn’t too far off. :>:> I love your idea here and am so glad I clicked on through from Tip Junkie to see it!!!
Thanks! That’s why I ended up going that way, with the pictures. Because the visuals help so much. I have a ton of other pictures around the house, I need to do a post on what else helps get us going and working during the day.
I love your chore chart and token system. I am going to try this. Where did you get the glass tiles, I love the look of this.
Thanks! I need to link up the video VLOGS I’m been making answering questions about the token system. I have LOVED this chart for us. I get all my supplies for my jewelry and this chart here http://www.etsy.com/shop/SunAndMoonCraftKits
Thanks for the post
Thanks! I’m glad you like our chore chart!
I love this idea and am in the middle of making my own. I was curious what you used for pictures on the magnets???
I actually went around my house and took pictures of everything. With the aspergers pictures and images are SOOOO helpful. Esp pictures of their own beds, them brushing their own teeth, the shower/shampoo/conditioner THEY use! etc… It was a bit time consuming but I just took pictures over the course of a few days of us doing our normal daily stuff. In the end totally worth it.
I love this idea!!! And want to do it for my two boys!! But iwas wondering where you got the magnets and pictures to put in them!! I guess i just wanna know how you did the magnets! My boys are still too young to read anything so having pictures for them to look at and know what they have to do would be amazing! Thank you so much!!
I took pictures of all the items around our house, so it would be recognizable for the kids, they are very literal with the aspergers and I didn’t want to use clip art. The magnets are 1 inch glass tiles, so I made them the same way you work with any glass tile pendant. Here is an easy tutorial http://www.ohmyhandmade.com/2010/what-we-know/tutorials/glass-magnet-tutorial/
I have a question :If you have to keep yelling at them to get them to do what they are told. Do they still get to receive tokens? I told my 4 yr old this morning about the tokens and he was excited at first but then he just didn’t want to get dressed.So we had to keep yelling at him to get dressed.
no, I don’t yell, yelling only gets them flustered. trying anything new in parenting takes time, and if often gets worse before it gets better. but stick with it, it’s worth it. you can always change the token amounts. if he does it after being asked once he gets 2 tokens, asked twice 2 tokens, asked a third time no tokens, asked a 4th time take away a token… etc… or if we get a temper tantrum, or yelling they loose 5 tokens automatically. if they yell at a sibling loose more tokens, etc…
I like the love and logic parenting, tell them once, then let the consequences follow. you have ot decide on your own consequences, but I had a friend that if her kids didn’t get dressed for school on time they either went to school in their pj’s (only happened once) OR they had to PAY her to take them to school later since they missed the “free” ride of the day…
Thanks for the link up!