Today is my 12th Anniversary! (warning- dated pictures ahead)
12 years of marriage. We’ve had major highs, and major lows, but we are a great team and together we support each other be our best selves. Bill is not only a wonderful person, and great dad, but he’s the best friend and support I’ve ever had. He lets me be ME, he’s the one person I never feel I have to put and act on for, and visa versa. Even with my best friend I’m a different version of myself, but with Bill I’m simply me, the good, the bad, the ugly (and the gorgeous!). And he gave me the best gift of my life- motherhood.
It just doesn’t seem like it’s been 12 years, but the 11 year old daughter is proof of it… 11 years old! It’s funny how an event celebrating one thing, my wedding, reminds me so much of another- becoming a mother. We got pregnant on our honeymoon- ON PURPOSE (I always get asked that). I knew my husband and I were perfect for each other and while I can understand while some couples put off having children for a few years, waiting just wasn’t for us.
I’ve wanted to become a mother since I was a child. Probably from the day my sister was brought home from the Hospital when I was 2 years old (one of my earliest memories is my mom bringing her home from the hospital, that and being a witch for Halloween a few days before she was born). I didn’t get married to my husband JUST to have children, but I didn’t want to put it off either.
I celebrate my Momiversary on her birthday every year, and I celebrate getting pregnant and starting my path to motherhood on my anniversary! Not like I make a cake or anything, I just reflect on it, usually in my journal, sometimes on my personal blog and today here with all of you. Being a mother is the best job in the world for me, it’s what I was made for, it’s such a HUGE part of who I am.
The Reader and Baby Boy are 10 1/2 years apart, and with 10 kids I often get the comment “you know what your doing, huh?” Short answer, yes. As a mother of 5 I’ve got this baby stuff down. But the longer answer is yes and no! Yes, I knew what to expect when I got pregnant for the 5th time. But at the same time my body was 10 years older and while some was similar, the morning sickness, the dr’s appt’s, lab tests, etc… It was AMAZING how much was different.
Even as a 5th timer I had questions for my dr at every appt! Are these aches and pains normal? Is it just cause I’m so OLD now (pregnancy is a lot easier on your body at 22- let me tell you!). Also with the 4 1/2 year gap this time my body had time to heal in ways it hadn’t with the 19 month gaps from before, so some things were CRAZY different! Labor was COMPLETELY different this time around!
So Pregnancy was the same in some ways and different in others, Labor was familiar and yet crazy different too! Now Baby Boy is 9 months old and the same thing is true. Obviously I know all about bathing, changing, dressing, feeding, etc… is all the same, not much changes in that respect.
But it 10 years of parenting there ARE things that have changed, not only are there cool gadgets and toys, and other fun stuff I didn’t have the first time around (Hello MOBY wrap- LIFE SAVER!) but some other “rules” have changed, do we still lay babies on their back? What are the NEW okay and not okay to eat when pregnant… I can never seem to remember if Advil is okay so I always keep tylenol handy.
So while I “know” what I’m doing I still have questions. They are different than the first time around, but I still have them. And I am still a first time parent! It’s my first time parenting an 11 year old, and let me tell you it’s scary! Are these new emotional outburst really going to last for the next 7 years? Will she be as angry with me as I was with my mother?
And my 9 year old, my first 9 year old BOY! When do I talk to him about S-E-X? My oldest ASKED about it way early, but he shows no signs of any readiness or understanding, but I don’t wait to wait until it’s too late, and he gets information and answers from an outside source. HOW do I bring it up with him vs my daughter?
Then my 7 year old, who is so ANGRY and so different from the older two. He has a frustration in him that I just can’t seem to penetrate at times, and yet is so sweet, and was the HAPPIEST little boy and I feel so lost now.
And then the 5 year old, SO ready to start school, so so SO smart, and sneaky and lying already… Anyway the my questions are all rhetorical. This information is just a peek into our world. The point is that no matter how many children you are there is never that moment of “I know what I’m doing, I have this thing in the BAG”.
I think the key to good parenting is not ONE thing but a few. Trusting your instincts is huge for me, I believe that Mom’s (and Dad’s) who take the time to KNOW their kids can receive inspiration in their parenting. I also believe in prayer and revelation (part of why I believe in inspiration in parenting- kind of hand in hand there).
I also believe in educating yourself. I’m big on that, when we got the asperger diagnosis I think I bought every book from Amazon that had aspergers in the title! I also believe in asking for help. Now to be clear I don’t believe in asking just ANYONE. Questions about aspergers go to different person than questions about which wipes are the best for sensitive bottoms, kay?
So I’m excited to share a project I get to be a part of over the next few months. Intermountain Mom’s Facebook page is an AMAZING resource for new mothers, “old” mothers, etc… When I first liked their facebook page it was because I was delivering at one of their hospitals and I thought it would be a good place to get some answers about hospital tours and stuff. But it is SO much more than that! They have worked so hard turning it into an AMAZING page. It is SO interactive, easy to search, etc… I had NO idea Facebook pages could be so COOL! And you don’t have to be a local to use all the great information on their page.
“Search our content” is AMAZING! From a basic search to browsing questions, watching videos, finding a clinic, doctor or ask Nurse Dani a question! Nurse Dani is AWESOME (and super tall, BTW). You can submit a question to her and that WEEK she’ll answer with a video. The team also includes lots of other Dr’s and specialties so if she can’t answer they’ll find someone who can! She also does a life facebook Q&A on Fridays! The questions range from medical to non medical in nature, it’s really fun to read through them actually! They sometimes have a lactation consultant on for live chats and they’ll be adding a few other specialists soon!
AND they have DAILY giveaways! Sign up for the daily delivery and keep an eye out for the daily delivery question (M-F)! A winner will be chosen and they’ll send the winner a prize. They can be diapers, or a boppy, bottles, binkies etc… can you believe they do this all for free? They want to be a helpful community resource, and they are! A LOT of the questions and videos are about pregnancy and newborns right now, but you can ask any question you want- about any age. Intermountain Moms is for moms, all moms, even mom’s of emotional preteens, so feel free to ask any question you have. I have a few questions of my own I’m going to add- maturation and all…
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